Stuck !

Fine night- I;m currently chit chatting with my friends instead of doing what I'm supposed to. *sigh* I seriously not sure what is the right idea to write as she's A LITTLE troublesome. She can changed her mind out of sudden and what you spent time wrote on probably is the wrong one ! Sad huh? I'm currently addicted to one of the old Peterpan's song. Check it out if you like Malay songs too. =) I think I need to set my butt to finish up a little of my essay at least instead of wasting time EVERYWHERE !

Tak Bisakah
Artist: Peter Pan
Hatiku bimbang dengan tetap pikirkanmu
Selalu-s'lalu dalam hatiku
Kumelangkah sejauh apapun itu
Selalu kau didalam hatiku

Ku berjalan-berjalan memutar waktu
Berharap temukan sisa hatimu
Mengertilah ku ingin engkau begitu
Mengerti kau didalam hatiku

Tak Bisakah kau menungguku
Hingga nanti tetap menunggu
Tak Bisakah kau menuntunku
Menemani dalam hidupku

Ku berjalan-berjalan memutar waktu
Berharap temukan sisa hatimu
Mengertilah ku ingin engkau begitu
Mengerti kau didalam hatiku

Jangan Kau mencari hidupku
Kemana Kau tau isi hatiku
Tunggu sejenak aku disitu
Jalanku jalan menemukanmu

Tak Bisakah kau menungguku
Hingga nanti tetap menunggu
Tak Bisakah kau menuntunku
Menemani dalam hidupku

Hectic But Enjoyable

Fine evening- Yesterday seriously was a hectic one for me though. I woke up and went to class. About 1pm, I went to Batu 11 to have a superb expensive lunch !!! We ate at those normal chicken rice shop and it costs around 32 bucks. The chicken rice over there is a little famous but I didn't expect it to be so expensive ! After our lunch, we went to Low Yat to buy a laptop for her cousin since I also need to buy a new earphone for my mp3. After we've settled everything we headed to Kepong as his cousin's cafe is there. Unfortunately, she's not there. *sigh* We went to Bukit Jalil for a little swimming session since both of us gained weight like no body's business. *chuckles*

We met some insane fellow at the pool. He kept talking to himself and disturbing other people as if he's mad or something. But I think he's quite well educated as he spoke in English. We went to Mid Valley for movie and dinner after that. Basically that was the first Saturday where I can did so many things. *grins* When I came home I'm still fresh. *surprisingly* Today as usual went to jazz class and I got pissed off early in the morning. Ended up taking cab to town. *toot* But I was lucky enough to get a cab in just 5 minutes time.

I'm really not in the mood to talk but someone kept asking me what happen which made me irritated and I just yell. *whoopppss* I knew that was so rude. I need to finish up the draft for my research paper and my Finance's assignment. But so far I did none of them. I'm looking through books just to find something suitable to write on. I hope I can finish it up on time though.

After a long week

Fine evening- Well I'll be having one week holiday as Hari Raya is just around the corner. But this one week is not a holiday to be exact, is a study week instead. Sad huh? Yesterday I'm on my bed lying for 1 hour plus before I really can fall asleep. I'm so tired actually but mentally I'm waiting for someone to call. I told myself what for waiting as my friend forget to call me? Finally I manage to put everything aside and get some sleep Sometimes friends can also be hopeless. *giggles* Or maybe I'm a person who treasure friends more than anything else. I believe that time can proof everything no matter how good you're. I got some reflections of myself when I'm talking with G just now. It got me a little offended since the topic is just a little too sensitive to be talked out just like that. This made me a little pissed off to join them tonight. That's why I asked C is it alright if I join in. I just don't want to be too awkward out of no where. It hurts when you're sending out some wrong idea to the wrong people. We'll see how.

Weird day

Fine evening- Yesterday I fell asleep around 10.15pm. Out of sudden my eyes just wide open at 10.36pm. *sigh* I got no idea why was that happening. My heart beats so fast! A few seconds after that my phone ring. I think I can ‘feel’ that my phone is going to ring that’s why I just woke up out of sudden. I set my phone in silent mode without vibration when I want to sleep that’s why I’m so curious about this and made me posted up in my blog. This was not the first time happening. But it only reminds me of all those past memories when you’re waiting for someone to call you. That’s why it somehow made me feel uneasy for the whole day. No big deal anyway.

Today there’s some fire drill practice going on at 8.30pm. Me and my roommate plan to go out for dinner at 8pm. Well if not because of having such practice I think me and my roommate got no chance to go out and eat though. *chuckles* I haven’t start my revision for tomorrow’s test. *congratulations* I just don’t know where to start though. Should I label it as too much to study? Or I’m just too lazy? God knows.

Can’t wait to go to TGI with C and G. Is been a while since the last time we spend time chilling out together. I think both of them are good friends to have. If M and S are reading my blog they should be laughing since the definition of friend is varied among us. I told myself the other day; I won’t talk much or argue with them. When they said that’s the right thing I’ll just follow it. I’m not childish or try to be one in saying all this as I just want to see to what extent I can follow their way of thinking. Instead of being a rebellious person why not trying to be a good and nice one? Anyway, when I’m not at that stage to accept what you said and you’re trying to pulling me into it, it will only do more harm between us. You’ll never know how much I love you all, the sacrifices you made I know I won’t get from anyone for the rest of my life. Respect and obey are two different things... Good luck.

Lazy again

Stuffy night- Well today I have a pretty long time outside my room. Around 8 hours I think. 6 hours of classes and another two hours doing nothing besides accompanying friends for lunch and we chit chatted. I got an English test today which took me exactly the time given to sit for test. I used it till the very last minute since I got no idea what to write and how to start. *chuckles* I think I can get a pass for this test. I still got weird feeling all over me after what had happened. Even though it was not a big thing but somehow there's something still 'in' me. Oh yea I forgot to post my practical result in the previous post. Well, I just got higher pass for it. I'm 6 marks away to get merit. Anyway I'm glad that I can passed it. Still got a lot more sections to brush up in order I can do better next year.

This coming long holiday I need to get a part time job !!! Whoever have some recommendations please do let me know. I need CASH !!!! There's a lot of important thing I need to buy but currently I got zero cents in my bank account. Sad thing right. This coming Thursday I'm having another test. Well I still haven't touch anything yet. I just got a feeling that this semester I'm just so RELAX..Is already the third week but I'm still doing nothing ! I think I'll be having a hard time after the coming one week holiday. Have a nice day everyone..=)

Summary of my weekend

Cloudy afternoon- Well I got a pretty good weekend though. On Friday I went to Jogoya, Starhill for dinner buffet. There's a lot of great food over there especially sashimi and salmon !!! *yummy* After the buffet ended around 10 we went for second round. I got an embarrassing moment happened right at the entrance of the club. *chuckles* Can't share it here since it was not really a big issue to tell everybody. Reached home pretty early since Saturday I still got class to go to. And that’s my Friday night about. Yesterday I went to Joanne’s house for her son birthday party. Went home early too since everyone’s tired. I want to say THANK YOU to Mimi since she is so nice to pick me up for the gathering and the birthday party. I really do appreciate it. And I’m also glad that my sister has such a good friend. After that day, I can sense that we’re not that close anymore. I think it will just happen for temporary though...I THINK! Oh, I was so happy when I got wedding invitation from Jessie. Is really so nice of her to count me in as well. I hope I manage to do some arrangement to attend her wedding since it is on Sunday.


As for today, as usual woke up and go for jazz class. I bet I’ll suffer from muscle pain tomorrow since I didn’t warm up before I start to dance! *ouch* I hope it won’t be that bad. I went to some food court in town area to had lunch with Nicole after class. I miss the noodle in that food court so much! As Hari Raya is getting closer, the people are busy shopping around which makes me stranded in the shopping complex for hours before I can go home since the town was like so jam. Today I heard something which I don’t expect to know. One of my friends is taking advantage on someone that I know. Is a little pathetic when I can’t confront my friend yet I don’t want him/her to continue doing that. He/she is sending the wrong signal to the wrong person I think. I even told N maybe is just a coincidence but she assured me that’s the truth. *clueless*

different

Well I just got back and had my shower about an hour ago. After what had happened yesterday, I think I’m a little clear now to talk about it again. Sometimes having good intention is important but I’m still standing firm on my own principles. But I’ll always remember what the Chinese folks used to say, ‘you’ll get regret one day if you don’t listen’. I’m 100% believe that this is so true! But sometimes teenagers will just be a little rebellious at certain things… as for me I’ll rebel if the plans doesn’t go my way… you all may think I’m an idiot childish chic who don’t use brain to think but sometimes I think all this is just ‘in’ me. I accept the fact that you’re concern about me but sometimes please just give me a little trust based on action instead of just saying ‘I have 100% confidence on you’. Actions do speak louder than words!

At first, I am suppose to feel happy since I got a gathering today and I got a merit award for my past semester’s result. But all stuffs that are going on right now make me not in the mood anymore. I felt so embarrassing when I’m troubling someone… If I were to confront her she will only say ‘is for your own good’. I think she forgot that once when she’s a teen she loves to be accepted too. If I were to follow your footsteps, I’ve already rebel long time ago and of course not now only I voiced out my dissatisfaction. No matter how unsatisfied I am I’m still looking forward to be a good person. Need to have some nap before I get moody.

P/s; thanks for your concern/opinion/advice..let me sort it out myself..=)

Privacy

Moody evening-I do think that the definition of privacy could be varied if I were to ask everyone. As for my case, what I require is just respect the time I spent with you and the details of it. You don’t need to do a report for M. I’m really so disappointed that no one bother on how I felt. They will just say so and I got to follow. For instance, “I don’t want you to stay up so late with THEM”. Other examples are, ‘it is different because you’re there with me not THEM’. I think is different because you can LOOK AFTER me including what I did, who I talk to, who I dance with, and etc. That’s the difference you meant? Or providing M a full report on what I did?

You told me before not to talk about your past to someone close enough to you but how come you’re telling every single thing about me to M? Is it just because 3 of us are family? Seriously, is a big no-no that you’re thinking like this. I’m able to tell to someone close enough to you about every single thing about you but the main point is, did I done that? I respect you as I believe that every human being have things that they wouldn’t like others to know. So why not you think on my side too? The way you’re showing concern is KIND OF wrong somehow. Wrong in terms of you didn’t ask me whether I like the way you’re arranging things. You just MAKE the decision and telling me that is LIKE THAT.

We’re creatures who got our own unique thinking and emotions. Just don’t be so selfish. You don’t like others know that you smoke, so as a sign of respect I didn’t tell it out. You don’t like your closed one to know that you’re once so rebellious so as a sign of respect I didn’t share that with anyone. I’m just a teen who often in the state of confusion so why don’t YOU all these adults do something as in change the way you approaching the teen. YOU expect me to think as I’ve already reaches 30 years old? They’re 1001 ways to show your concern. The way you’re using right now is hurting me instead of making me to have warm feeling. I got no idea why it is hurting because it just comes out from the bottom of my heart. May god bless everyone !

Back on track

Fine evening- I'm so addicted to HK drama recently. *giggles* My life currently back to normal. So glad that I made it through. =) Today afternoon I did something pretty stupid. I'm so spirited to practice piano. So I went to book music room for tomorrow BUT at the wrong timing ! I forgot about the class postponement. My 2 bucks just flied away ! *chuckles* Well this is life huh?

I'm A LITTLE sleepy now. And I'm stucked in my finance tutorials. My timetable had changed for thrice. So sick of the new one.. 'Your upcoming travel plans will amuse you, shock you, and, best of all: Educate you!'- my horoscope for today ! I think got some implicit meaning though. We'll see.

Gastric

Fine night- I'm having gastric while I'm sleeping early this morning. The pain woke me up. It was really unbearable but thank god I'm alright to go for classes. Today was my first week to have mon classes since last week I'm not back yet. I kind of like 6 hours class but it is really tiring and even worst if didn't get a good sleep the previous night.

Now I'm having stomach upset. Frequent visit to the loo. So bad all these bad things happened out of sudden. Ouch ! Yesterday I was talking about bond in my private blog then today what a coincidence that I got to studies on bond in finance class. The finance class is getting tougher though. Having a hard time to cope up. And I'm still worry for accounting. Worry she can't finish the syllabus. This semester is superb hectic and tiring.

I'm a little pissed off when someone close enough to me had intruded my privacy. She told someone about something she shoudn't. But physically she got the authority. But I thought living on this globe we need to respect each other? Why not just keep to yourself instead of telling someone and she will nag me on that? Anyway, I didn't tell out anything to anyone even though you already did since I still respect you as my close one.

This friday got a gathering session with sister's friends. *hooray* Finally I got something to do on weekends instead of sitting at home and hiding in the room.

Noisy Day

Fine afternoon- I barely can have a good sleep since early in the morning has already started to be so noisy due to there's some construction going on near my apartment. This let me recalled back those days where E block ( opposite my hostel) was having renovation.

My desktop created some problem again. And I'm going to fork out money to repair it. I got my desktop for formatting this year way TOO MUCH. Old PC what to do....*sigh* Oh my god ! Second week of my new semester has ended. And so far I don't have any notes for finance yet and accounting lecturer seems to be taking her own sweet time to teach us. I'm a little worry though. As for my English, I got a word to describe ! *speechless* My dear MISS will be 'jumping' here and there during lectures and I think is due to we're having generation gap since I barely could fully understand what's she's talking about. I can gradually adapt back to my life again. The matters that are bothering me slowly been solved out. I just want to have some peace afterall.

For someone close enough to me: Please be frank and talk to me not on m back. Seriously I don't appreciate it ! Please change your way in talking to me otherwise we got nothing to talk on . No offend though. I just want to burst out here since there's no way for me to tell it out.

I felt a little guilty lying on something small. Well of course is for good sake. I don't want get to much attention at the moment. I'm miserable enough and don't wish to add more on my current burden or I shall call it thoughts. =)

Old memories

Fine afternoon- Today I passed by my secondary school while I'm on my way home. Watching all the students happily walking towards town just reminds me when I'm also once like them walking to town with one big gang. Seriously if ask me to walk under the hot sun now I don't think I can. *giggles* Yesterday I was lying on my bed for hours before I can fell asleep. Finally I finished reading Tuesdays with Morrie, one of the book suggested by Joann. It was really a touching real-life story though. Need to thanks Joann for recommending this book in her blog www.joann15.blogspot.com

Yesterday I was lying on my bed reflecting what I've been thinking all this while. Me and Katrina chit chatted until one plus in the morning. I finally fall asleep at 3. Raining so heavily yesterday midnight. Today morning was a little hard for me to wake up and I really SUFFER during English class. Luckily can go back way earlier for Finance class. Finally I've watched the 1st episode of Prison Break Season 4. Another episode save for next week. *chuckles* Wentworth Miller still looks so ~WOAH~!! I bet you know what I meant. *grins*

Departure

Fine evening- Today class finished pretty early though since we're just doing tutorial questions in the class. Going back home tomorrow. I haven't practice my piano yet so I got a little worry I will get screw this saturday. *giggles* I got a bad feeling that I'm going to flop my practical exam. Even if I got a pass it will just be a 'lucky pass'.

This saturday I'm suppose to have a performance but no one inform me anything yet so I think they just counted me out since I was absent for the last class. Well my friends are going back to their country. They will board the plane pretty soon. Is really nice bunch of friends to have, will be missing them a lot since we might have no chance to meet again. =)

Well I got new 'kisses' from ants and mosquitoes. Still hate insect pretty much though. I have to hand up my project's mind mapping tomorrow but seriously I got no idea what to write yet. *sigh*

Normal day

Fine night- Just as usual today. Except I got 8am class. My lecturer said 'we only will start class at 8.15am if we got 8am class'. No explanation given. *speechless* Previously I was having some confusion on who I am and what should I do then it made me become so emotional. As for now, I'm whole lot better in handling my emotion. Thanks to Joann. Eventhough she doesn't really 'support' my back, but all that she said made me think it another way round. I guess girl and girl can talk easily. =) We just got the 'click' among both of us.

As for now, all I got to do is to concentrate on my studies instead thinking all those nonsense and make me feel unhappy. This semester is killing me though since is a short semester but I'm taking 3 subjects. Which means i got 24 hours per week to be in class. Is so tiring ! Well I'm thinking whether the long semester break shall I work or just stay home and chill out. Staying at home will just wasting my time on unnecesssary things. *sigh*

Is only 8.31pm I already feel like sleeping !

First time to be so happy

Pictures as the starter: The Important people

Fine evening- Well I just reached INTI about 2 hours ago. I sat in the train almost for 2 hours. Today's blog will be a little long since I've sum up everything together. The train journey becomes so bad when there was one bunch of aunties and uncles boarded the train at Kepong Central and they started to make noises which was so annoying. I don't think they realise they are talking so loud until people who were half asleep also woke up due to their conversation.

These few days I was so busy helping out in my sister's wedding. The wedding dinner held at Noble Banquet went on pretty smoothly except for registration time where I got a little messed up with the guest's name. After the dinner ended we headed to De-Lux for 2nd round. I was dead bored in there since everyone got so 'high' but not me. I just mingle around, dance and drink. My bro-in-law's friends who flew over to Malaysia were also there but at that time I don't know them yet. So that's why didn't really mix up with them.

So went back around 4am then we went to Kepong for supper. We didn't eat much on that night that's why. When I reached home was already 5 so I went to remove my make up and bathe. Ended up sleeping so late. The next day I manage to sleep till 1 plus only woke up and I was in a hurry to help sister pack all the things she needs to bring back to Kajang. On that Saturday night few of sister's friends came to my house since it is a practice where one day before wedding bride's friends will come to her house to chill out. I slept around 1 that night but sister was talking to her best friend till pretty late. The next morning I woke up around 8 plus to get ready for the big day !

As usual when I woke up I went to on my desktop and facebook for a while. Then sister asked me to buy her some disposable panties for the game later. I ended up searching all over the groceries shop around my area unfortunately I can't find it. So my last option was going to supermarket. I got it anyway.

The bridegroom reached my house a little earlier than expected. Then due to that the bridemaids were so rush in preparing the 'game'. Bla bla bla.... We went back to Rawang from my house around 1pm. That was the first time sitting in the car passing tol WITHOUT paying. After everything had settled (praying and tea session) I was busy serving the 'brothers' and guests. That was only afternoon I already started to drink but not that much. Around 6 plus the buffet started bla bla bla, after all the cleaning we went to De-Lux again. But this time it was totally DIFFERENT !

Earlier, I got teased from sister's friend saying someone (bro-in-law's friend, F) will marry me in another 2 years time. As usual this was because they got so 'high' and excited though. I didn't bother much so I continue talking to one of the Vietnam dude. Haha I was learning their language. Seriously it was difficult. Yesterday was the first time I didn't feel bored in night club. The environment still the same, girls, waiters, drugs and so forth. I went to dance with Apple and Audrey until I got tired. Both of them got so 'high' before we reached De-Lux so once we were there they became more excited and keep drinking.

Previously, Natalie's husband got excited and gave me a peck on my cheek. Luckily at that time Natalie was there otherwise I'll be having a hard time explaining. Then I saw A crying since she quarrel with her boyfriend. She kept it to herself for days then when she's in the club she talked everything out and dance with everybody. So to be with her, me and F dance too. I think for those who already get bored reading you may click to other stuff since the coming things that I'm going to write will become more bored.

Again, I got a crush on someone. I'm so sick of myself for being like this. Each time I got a crush I will become so *toot*. Wondering how come I cannot be more steady in this kind of thing ! I really hoped that the fellow got too 'high' that's why he said the wrong things. I was praying hard that he don't give me a call on the next day or in the future but my heart got so 'sour' when I think this way. Then I become more and more 'shitty'. My mind becomes uncertain weighing the pros and cons. If can I wish this kind of thing got some formulas for calculation. I kept thinking what for I need to crack my head with all these stuffs. I don't think that fellow can 'go through ' my sis and bro in law. Seriously, this type of guy for entertainment purpose will be good enough. Further down might or might not be a disaster. But the chances to be a disaster will be higher. The things I've been thinking is going to happen again.

Basically, I'm happy but mentally I'm struggling. Time can proof things ! I just hope I have family members who will put up things in a better and effective way.

P/s : Everyone, sorry for posting up some long winded thingy that I'm also having problem to understand it..

Less than 24 hours

Fine night- Actually I wanted to post this up earlier but I was busy doing something. Well just now got a big new but unfortunately was not a good one. I'm relieved everything managed to settle down. I'm attending my sister's wedding dinner tomorrow !! *wow* It was like so fast !!! Still remember those days where we quarrel and I ended become so rebellious.. But all these had changed after I grow up and my sister got fed up. =p She changed her 'strategy' towards me. She become caring instead of restricting me from my activities. She bring me out to places that I would not have chance to go if she does not bring me to. I'm wondering right now what will happen during the dinner tomorrow. Is been a while since I'm sitting down with my dad to have dinner. a decade? *calculating* To me my dad seriously is such a *toot* man. Just imagine you got to have dinner with this kind of man and you have to pretend you're happy. It doesn't matter whether I'm happy or not I just want my mom and sister to be happy. After all is my sis's big day ! All this while I do blame my dad for being so irresponsible. Actually if he loves us he should at least visit us more often and not just complaining to us that we're using a lot of his money ! I really feel so bad when I see friends who have great dad around them to support them in any sense. I think my life is pretty complete except for I'm missing my daddy's love and care for such a long time.

Well starting on from tomorrow my sister is going to lead a different stage of life where she will become someone's wife and got whole lot more of commitment that she needs to give in. That day I was really so relieved that sister still got her own best friend to talk to her even though she missed quite a numbers of their reunion. My life is going to be more interesting as I'm taking subjects that are going to be tougher and tougher.

I think I will be having problem to sleep tonight since I'm just too excited for tomorrow. =)

Pain

Yesterday I can't sleep even it was already so late which made me have difficulty to wake up this morning. I went to MPH hall for enrollment but before that I went to exam center to take my result slip. After that went to hall and looked for Mr. Mani. Around 10.30am everything had settled. Me and Karin went to cafeteria for uncle's curry noodle. We miss it SOOOO much... *giggles*

After that I'm waiting for my 12pm class while catching up with my friends. The first lecturer I met today was my ENL3 lecturer, Ms Kavita. She's quite good in her FACIAL EXPRESSION. The second class was my ACC2 which is a Malay lady and my financial management lecturer is a Chinese man. This semester seems to be a little weird though.

As I'm sitting in the class, I was shivering since it was really cold in there plus my stomach is been so pain for the whole day. Talking about pain, that's another thing that I been so cruel on but I got no other choice besides to tell the truth. Well I guess tonight I will sleep slightly earlier since I'm not feeling well.

Busy

Fine afternoon- These few days been so busy since on my birthday I got a hectic day as well as on yesterday. My birthday this year is just a normal day though.. Woke up about 9 plus then got wishes from some of my friends then went to shower and had my breakfast. Around 2pm went for facial session which caused my face looks so ugly after that since got too much pimples and blackhead ! The petite girl used GREAT amount of energy to make sure all the pimples and blackhead to come out. After that my sweet mum sent me to KTM so that I can take train to Rawang. I got there about 7pm and just nice to reach at dinner time. Actually on that day I was so tired but at night still have to go out to De-Lux. And we finally reached home around 4.40am ! *yawn* Some pictures in the night club since I'm so bored !





Yesterday nigth went to BBQ at natalie's house which is located at Putra Heights to celebrate few girls birthday... Well well is like entering a maze when we're trying to go to her house ! But her house is really nice and warm though. And I got to play with Harven boy for the first time ! so CUTE ! Yesterday I don't need to spend hours to BBQ-ing but still got to eat nice food ! Thanks to Apple. *sweet* After makan makan as usual everyone were like chit chatting here and there. Unfortunately, most of them need to go back early. But there still have enough people to make the house LIVELY ! After a while, they started to gamble until 4 plus in the morning ! Pity sis and Randy need to send me back to Kajang some more before they're going back to Rawang. Again I slept only around 5 plus. These two days really make me grow FAT ! Eat, drink, sleep late, everything bad I did it for 2 days ! Nevertheless, I was having a blast !